Met with the Light

Well, hello there.

Novaisa...

It's been quite a while since we've spoken, so let's catch up.

April was a crazy month. Studying for my final classes, managing a business I recently started doing full-time, and all of the emotional discourse that comes with getting older and nearing the end of an emotionally straining era.

I graduated yesterday. It was so surreal. At first, I didn't care for it. I didn't look forward to it at all and just wanted to get it over with. But once I put on that cap and gown...Something surreal swept over me.

Pride. Relief. Prestige, even, that I was able to earn a degree that so many cannot earn. (Biology). All of that pain was worth it. All of the tears, late nights, contemplating if what I did was right-all worth it.

I will forever be heartbroken that my undergrad college experience was ruined. I am convinced, and probably have accepted, that it will forever leave a mark on my heart. I was young and dumb, without a developed frontal lobe and the best parental/family guidance with what led me to this pitfall. I came back to PA after covid hit and school was shut down, got into an argument with my dad, and that was that. He cut me off financially, and I had to finish the rest of my college online. I had to stay in the home where my at the time divorcing parents were, (yep, my dad filed for divorce that same year) and share my room with my mom.

My GPA went from a 3.8, down to academic warning level. I was depressed, suicidal, and back to square 1 with my mental and spiritual development. I moved back to Miami in 2022 (or tried, at least) but it wasn't the same, and I couldn't afford to stay there anymore so I left months after I arrived.

Now, fast forward to 2025, i've finally graduated, and I'm in the best space mentally and spiritually i've ever been. I'm resilient, deeply in love with myself, and treading on the right path. I can feel that I will be successful-truly. I truly think i'm going to make it. These past five years I had to really look within, self reflect, and completely turn myself around. I was a broken, lost soul, and I really had to find myself again and rebuild myself, piece by piece.

This time, I rebuilt myself into someone better, someone who will thrive elegantly amidst anything thrown at her. That is how one of my (currently) very young book characters in FC: The Phoenix and the Dragon ends up becoming as they grow older. This character of mine actually really inspires me-their personality, their story, how they go about things..Chef's kiss. Perhaps I made older them in the image that I aspire to be.

There is a wide, clean, empty slate ahead, and it's exciting, relieving, but terrifying at the same time. I've seen 111 more times than I can count, every single day, many times a day. That has been my angel number since 2020-before that it was 444. Universe, I hear you and I see you! i'm working to earn everything you know I want.

But that's it for now. I am in public (and at the verge of tears) writing this, and I don't want to ruin my makeup! People keep staring at me. I get stares a lot, actually. But right now, I wonder what they're thinking?

"I wonder what this crazy writer is working on that's making her choke up like that..?"

lol. But anyways,

Here's to success, peace, and brighter days ahead!

25

A cute card (and plant) my mom got me

Well, folks, it's official.

i'm 25.

It's an interesting feeling-I feel as If I made a leap off of a boat and plunged into the ocean. There is a huge weight off of my chest.

I think the fear of age was really getting to me when I was 22-24, but now I guess i've accepted it? Ok, i'm getting old. So what? I don't look my age, and I feel great. So i'll take it.

So I'm at the coffee shop, and honestly I'm shocked I even got a spot in here. When I pulled into the small parking lot, only one spot was remaining, so I really believe it was divine timing that I was meant to be here today.

Everyone here is being so nice to me today and no one even knows it's my birthday. Interesting. I truly believe to be favored by the universe/god.

Later on, I'll be in Philadelphia celebrating my birthday with my dad, brother, sister, and her boyfriend. Honestly, I'm not too stocked about my sister and her boyfriend being there (my sister never treated me well, and her boyfriend is not the nicest person on the planet) but I have my reasons for letting her join.

Tomorrow I'm going to the mall to shop with my mom (my parents are divorced and despise each other so can't do things with them at the same time :D) so that's why she's sitting today's festivities out.

I haven't written in a while. I don't know-I haven't been in the mood for it, which is very not like me. I think I've been under a lot of stress-Had to take 2 exams in one day recently and catch up on some schoolwork so that may be why. I love writing, I know I do, I just think that my-

-Ok not to interrupt my own writing but this guy was staring at me as he was waiting for the bathroom to be available and it completely blurred out my ability to think. Lol.

Anyways, I really want to get some writing in. So i'm going to visit Aesteris before I run out of time!

It's April :)

Switched out my Coach backpack for the My Mum Made it puffy pink bag lets get it

It's finally April, my favorite month of the year! For me It marks the beginning of spring, new open doors, and, of course getting older. I turn 25 on Friday, and I still am in disbelief about it.

It's truly insane how fast life goes. One second, i'm 16, in my room, getting ready for school, and before I know it i'm 25, about to graduate college. Unreal.

I'm at the coffee shop, but I just am not in a writing mood right now if i'm being honest. I'm more in a mood to be making video content for my personal account, so I'm probably not gonna stick around here long.

Unfortunately, in Pennsylvania it's 40 degrees, cold and windy (so over it) but I tell myself every day that calling this state home is finally nearing it's end, and that soon i'll be back in the warmth where I belong.

I'm telling you, you truly have to LOVE the cold weather to live in it constantly, otherwise you will be downright miserable. How people willingly live in a place like this is beyond me. It's not even livable for me, and it's certainly not compatible with my lifestyle.

Anyways, "cold weather sucks" rant over. I honestly wanna get out of this dark cafe and film content so that's what I'm gonna do. I'll jump back into Aesteris probably later today.