Growing pain slump

I don't know what's going on with me. For the past month, I've felt...Off. My appetite sucks, my anxiety is through the roof...But things are aligning in my favor. They really are.

I'm positive I'm just going through growing pains. The discomfort of immense growth and success-because once you begin succeeding a lot, it becomes ironically uncomfortable. You're reaching a new level you didn't think possible.

Lots of life changes are coming and have come my way fast, and I guess it's a lot for me to handle. I haven't been productive today and I feel like crap for it. I'm so upset with myself, but I know I'm doing my best. I have at million assignments due, and I still have to schedule my work week. Being self employed is fun, but it requires so much self-discipline.

I'm succeeding in life I suppose you can say. Or at least I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing to get myself to the next level. But mentally, I guess i'm just going through the pain of growth. I haven't been eating well, at least not as well as I was in January, and I've lost weight. I just don't feel very pretty right now. I dolled myself up and took a few selfies for fun, but...I don't know. I just don't feel as beautiful as I did when I was in a better place mentally. I'm starting to have major imposter syndrome.

I don't know if depression is a part of it-I don't know. I just haven't been feeling 100%. I wish I could be unproductive and not feel bad. I wish I could have a lazy day and not feel like a bum. I don't feel good, at all, and I don't know what to do.

I almost want to cry. I just want to slip in bed and escape to Aesteris, but I have so many other things I have to do.

A New Life Reborn

Well, It's been a crazy few weeks, to say the least, but it's over, thank god and the stars.

I'm currently at a coffee shop typing away at my laptop because i've had some insane cabin fever. It's absolutely freezing in Pennsylvania, and I haven't even been able to go on my usual walks for quite some time now.

I hate the cold weather.

I ordered a delicious Raspberry Mocha Latte, aside with an Italian chocolate pastry (I have no idea how to spell the name for it) but honestly I don't think it's nutritious enough...I may need to order an egg sammy or something. I haven't eaten well these past weeks.

Anxiety was at an all-time high, as I had so much on my plate. New business opportunities, major life changes...It's all on the table in 2025. Things have changed so quickly, and my dreams are coming true faster than I anticipated. It's an uncanny discomfort, but its a discomfort I welcome.

You can't grow without discomfort. It's simply not possible. To reach the next level, you have to endure major growing pains. Immense discomfort. It's all in the process. I knew my goals weren't easy. I knew they were going to require me to endure and evolve in ways I never have before. I knew all of this. I can't complain. I made it this far...I have no intentions of stopping now.

I saw this quote on X, and honestly, there was nothing I needed to see more.

Here is the link to the post on my X account: If you haven't already, go follow me on there. :)

https://x.com/hiraethsoluna/status/1891744321553990024

I'm so glad I saw this post. Honestly, X is a gold mine for quality social media content. I was never able to get into Twitter no matter how hard I tried-It just never stuck. But now, I love the app. It's fun to go on there and share stuff and see beautiful art pictures.

But anyways,

I haven't been to Aesteris in quite some time. I'm honestly still recovering from these crazy past weeks, but I'm still good to go. I love to write. While I've neglected my visitations to my world, I at least have had two beautiful pieces of art in the works, dedicated to a few dragons in my story.

Khimzzyy on instagram nailed it again! I'll be posting the works in my art gallery soon.

A Weekend in Florida

Currently in Florida, writing in a guest bedroom in my aunt's house.

God it feels so good to be home.

I miss Florida with all my heart. Every time I come home, I get hit with a wave of warm nostalgia that takes me back to when I lived here-The happiest moments of my life.

Moving from Florida to Pennsylvania was the hardest thing I've ever done-Something I will never, ever do again. Once I'm back home, I'm not leaving anymore.

but enough about that.

Were here for a few days (short, I know) to celebrate my grandma's birthday. I don't remember how old she's turning, but I know she's in her late eighties. Hopefully she still has a decade to go. Her mother, an amazing woman called Leila Cross, lived to her nineties-hundreds.

I'll be back in Florida in April though, to graduate from college (finally) and celebrate. I just can't get enough of traveling, especially to Florida. It makes me so happy. Perhaps in Feb-March I'll plan a NY trip.